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We live in a society that emphasizes
appearance as the means to success and happiness. Given the media's bombardment
of perfect-looking images, it is difficult not to compare yourself to
television and film figures and magazine covers and come up short. Despite
societal influences, however, the way a person looks doesn't produce worry or
distress—rather, a person's thoughts about her appearance are the culprit. What
are you saying to yourself about how you look? If you tell yourself that you
look terrible, it's not surprising that you would feel anxious and depressed. But
what's the evidence that you look terrible even if you don't resemble a
magazine cover? Where is it getting you to think, “I look terrible”? Resisting
unhelpful societal demands to look a certain way and learning to separate your
appearance from your worth as a person are very important goals in improving
emotional well-being. Growing up, perhaps you learned that self-value was based
on having a particular body image. Now is an excellent time to question this
old assumption. Inevitably, people get older, and physical changes will occur.
If you awfulize these changes and condemn yourself for them, you will feel much
worse than if you learn to tolerate the physical differences and accept
yourself anyway. Again, using effective, forceful self-talk is key.
Anxiety-Generating
Self-Talk
· I must look perfect or I'm no good.
· Everyone can see this flaw—how terrible!
· I can't stand this flaw.
· I can't be happy until I lose weight.
· I hate my body!
Anxiety-Reducing Self-Talk
· Nobody looks perfect all the time, and appearance is not the gauge of my
worth.
· People are far more focused on themselves than on anything about me. I
look fine!
· Even if I don't like this particular body part, I certainly can stand it.
There's much more to me than this one feature.
· If I'd like to lose weight, I can work on this goal, but it doesn't
determine my level of happiness. Moreover, putting appearance-based demands on
myself just makes me more anxious and interferes with reaching my goals.
· My body can do an amazing number of activities! Why condemn it because it
doesn't look like a movie star's body? I would never judge anyone else as
harshly as I'm judging myself.
It is important to note that some
people are so focused on perceived physical flaws that it becomes consuming.
Body dysmorphic disorder is an increasingly recognized mental disorder in which
a person is preoccupied with an imagined or slight deficit in appearance (e.g.,
“crooked” nose, facial lines, acne scars, thinning hair). Other people might
not even notice what the individual is concerned about, but the BDD sufferer
believes the flaw is repulsive. As a result, she may engage in compulsive
mirror-checking or mirror-avoidance, over-grooming, skin-picking, cosmetic
procedures, or reassurance-seeking. In addition to avoiding school, work, and
social activities, people with body dysmorphic disorder tend to report high
levels of distress and suicidal ideation and attempts. Other
appearance-related, highly-distressing clinical conditions include eating
disorders, which are prevalent in women and increasing in men. Both
cognitive-behavioral therapy and medications (SSRIs) can be effective in
treating eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder. Early diagnosis and
intervention are vital in offsetting the harmful effects of these conditions.
Source: The Anxiety Answer Book by: Laurie A. Helgoe, PhD, Laura R. Wilhelm, PhD, Martin J. Kommor, MD
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