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| oshonews.com |
In the way that the outdoor
temperature is reflected in degrees on a thermometer, it's helpful to think of
worry as occurring at different levels instead of as an all-or-nothing emotion.
It is completely normal to be concerned about what people think of us. We live
in a social world, and interaction with other people is vital. Naturally, we
want others to think well of us. Getting along well with others feels good and
often helps us reach our social and professional goals.
Yet, focusing on the views of others
can make us overly cautious and anxious. Here are some signs that your focus is
excessive or unhealthy:
You don't feel good about yourself,
and are projecting your negative feelings. For example, you imagine your boss
is unhappy with your work rather than admitting that you aren't happy with your
performance.
You may be engaging in a thinking
mistake known as mind-reading —assuming that you know what a person is thinking
about you when you actually have no evidence for your conclusion.
You tell yourself that it's terrible
if someone doesn't like you, when maybe it's just inconvenient. Another
person's view of you is not a measure of your worth unless you allow it to be.
To shift these tendencies, give
yourself credit for your strengths and practice learning to accept your
mistakes—we all make them! And keep in mind that most people are more focused
on their own priorities and interests than on thinking about you. To illustrate
this point, try writing down all the topics that others could be considering or
discussing, besides you! You'll find that this list is endless!
Source: The Anxiety Answer Book by: Laurie A. Helgoe, PhD, Laura R. Wilhelm, PhD, Martin J. Kommor, MD
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