WHY DO I WORRY?

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Many factors contribute to worrying, including your biology, past experiences, the current environment, and your thought processes. To understand worry, it can be very helpful to explore self-talk (what a person is saying to himself moment-to-moment and deeper beliefs that may be creating or fueling anxiety). Worrying is usually associated with “what if?” thinking in which a person consistently overestimates threats or danger and underestimates his ability to cope. Many individuals also have superstitious or magical beliefs about worrying. For example, some people hold the false assumption that worry protects them or loved ones. Here are some of the thoughts individuals may use to justify worry:

If I stay worried about Joe, he will feel better knowing that I am thinking about him. People like to know you have them in your thoughts and prayers. It's the proper thing to do.

Worrying about others shows I'm a caring and unselfish person.

Others may be harmed if I don't keep them in my thoughts. I have to worry to protect them and me.

God will see what I sacrifice to make others happy and reward me.

As indicated above, some people view worry as a way of producing results in the world, when in reality, action is required to produce results. Repeated reassurance-seeking as well as avoidance behaviors may also maintain excessive worrying. These strategies offer short-term gain at the cost of long-term pain. When a person constantly relies on others to make her feel better, the worrisome thoughts might subside temporarily, but they tend to be strengthened over the long-run. This also happens with the use of avoidance behaviors. Repeatedly calling your daughter at college to make sure she is safe or not going to work because you are afraid you made a mistake on a report are examples of behaviors that actually give worry more power over you. Resisting making the call to your daughter and going into work despite the mistake are ways that you show yourself “It wasn't as bad as I thought” and “I can handle this even if it is uncomfortable.” These thinking and behavior changes are essential for chipping away at your worry!

There is no simple answer to the question “Why do I worry?” but do keep in mind that worry is a habitual way of negative thinking that can be improved.

Source: The Anxiety Answer Book by: Laurie A. Helgoe, PhD, Laura R. Wilhelm, PhD, Martin J. Kommor, MD