DOES THE WAY I WAS RAISED MAKE ME MORE OR LESS LIKELY TO BE ANXIOUS?

The way you were raised can certainly influence your anxiety level as an adult. Other factors, such as your biological make-up and your personality style, can also either buffer or amplify your parents' influence. In general, if your parents were calm themselves, provided consistent limits and feedback, and expressed trust and confidence in your capacities, you are likely to be less anxious. Here are some ways parenting can contribute to anxiety.

If you were exposed to many terrifying or frightening situations and had little opportunity for protection or consolation from your parents, you may be at a higher risk for anxiety problems as a child, and as an adult. Such frightening events may include threats to you or the witnessing of threats to loved ones.

If your parents were anxious and consistently responded to life's circumstances with anxiety, you might be at risk to copy your parents' ways of doing things. Without realizing it, parents may also reinforce or reward their children's anxious behavior. If I want my child to stay with me and do not allow her to be curious and explore the world, I might praise her for her fearful response to any adventuresome behavior. She may learn to please me with her anxious behavior, and find that her anxiety draws attention and care.

Another way parents increase anxiety is to add their alarm to yours. Have you noticed how young children will look up to an adult after falling? It is as if they are trying to figure out how to respond. If the parent is calm, the child assumes she's okay and keeps playing. If the parent is alarmed and yells out “oh no!” the child becomes alarmed and breaks into tears.

Some parents may be inconsistent with their expectations and limit-setting. As children, then, we may do something that we think is okay, but have doubts lurking in the back of our minds. That lack of clarity and doubtfulness sometimes generates anxiety.

Source: The Anxiety Answer Book by: Laurie A. Helgoe, PhD, Laura R. Wilhelm, PhD, Martin J. Kommor, MD